Mary Jane's Shoes

Mary Jane's Shoes

Musings of one person among many. Not exceptional in any way, as with all, I have exceptional experiences and varied reactions to those events. Mine is one of many life stories and how I manage and cope with the events which make my life my own, I attempt to put forth by way of my writings.

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Rosebud Lips and a Recessed Chin

October 18, 2012

~

fingernails, some no bigger than grape seeds

eyebrows not yet visible

your heart opened, he created his own space in you

new stretches, new grasps

nestled, his lungs bring innate breaths and warmth

yours to him as well

~

rosebud lips and a recessed chin

allow for nourishment for which he roots

an aged rocker supports,

supports arms bearing

the fresh and flawless, the perfect

~

the glass of water on the table breaks,

breaks the lamp light into prisms of color

this light and these hues float beyond,

reflect in his eyes for quick moments as they open

searching for those that gaze into him

~

his movement is as slow motion segments of a film revealing the gracefulness of stirring,

of action

his neck turns seeking warmth of skin and food

in careful grace, fingers test,

test the air, in a dance now free of the womb’s restraints

he finds new comfort, in this lack of boundary….awe and unfamiliar felt

~

lamp light flickers as the rocker shifted, brushed against the table leg

the glass only half full is jostled

for him enough to startle

you swaddle, bundle in cloth of blue polka dots,

tightly this special package of shoulders, arms, belly and legs

easing his transition from dark, safe, to bright and expanding space

~

you tighten your hold

warm love, protection are again known

now from a mother’s arms and cotton threads

known by the infant child

known too by the child only young at heart

fresh and taking root in both

Loose Threads

October 1, 2012

~

Her leash is twisted.

I notice from its shadow on hot rocky pavement,

as the sun’s long fingers stretch

languid to the road.

A burn is felt beneath the surface,

of my chest.

With hands

pressing my head weighted,

I feel pressure from my monster

to straighten the dog’s lead

now,

lest I tease the evil once too often.

~

Order and symmetry,

symmetry or order,

of two, precedence is taken by which?

Lists,

lists of lists tangled in each other,

I cannot separate.

As my sweating chest releases fear,

I try creating order in this world,

in my world.

The world will be neatly stuffed

into a pillow, perfectly sewn and packaged.

There will exist no loose threads.

No bulging parts, this pillow

where upon I rest my head,

my head which gets no rest.

~

Only as outlines approve

my eyes will see last light from the bedroom lamp

as he reads.

Threads secured, lumps flattened

as there is order and symmetry, or symmetry and order.

Of two words, which takes precedence?

Doubts, afraid I am.

Thinking must continue

as clear lines are slow in being drawn.

I untwist her leash as I turn

home. Not releasing the friend at my side

nor the monster

taking precious space in my head.

To Be Tolerant, To Accept

September 17, 2012

Shot in Washington, D.C. in January of 2011

Within My Heart I Believe

September 16, 2012 1 Comment

~
1.Keep your eyes wide open.
2.Maintain an open mind.
3.Seek tolerance of the differences between people, beliefs, and ideas.
4.Show acceptance of those differences lest you miss their truth and beauty.
5.Harbor much gratitude.
6.Give much attention to others’ happiness and less to the “me,” the self. In other words, each should practice balance.
7. Feel the greatness that is given to you, feel the immense beauty that lives on this earth and embrace living, but lessen the indulgence to yourself as it can become greed. Indulge in others and you have helped make their time on earth that much better.
~

The words written above are my small list of big issues, values, I have desired to teach my children. Maybe I haven’t in so many words, but doing so has always been my intent. Within my heart I believe implementing them into our lives daily can only see peoples from all corners lead happier lives. I believe that the majority of people would say they believe the same. Each, including myself, needs to take the added steps and act more upon those words.

~

I felt the desire to write this list rather quickly and haphazardly as I am becoming more disturbed by the growth of the importance of the “me,” the self, I see there is now. There exists too much emphasis on celebrating one’s own life and not celebrating the life of another. Priorities do need to be checked. Values of this population do need to be balanced.

Stroller

August 16, 2012

 

~

he fingers the stroller toy, momentarily stifled and semi-bored

his mother’s face stories above, is laughing

with others more interesting

~

she clutches dearly to a package

so as not to lose its contents

the latest read, earrings for dinner tonight

and remains of a half-eaten pretzel

~

attention, the fun touch of mother’s fingers

tickling his belly are to wait

a rubber pacifier she stuffs in his mouth after approaching

with a bottle of powder and water

~

her back from the stroller is turned

the pretzel in hand

he sits stifled and semi-bored

Yellow Plates

July 21, 2012

~

Twenty five years, scrubs blue

Drops of blood on running shoes

Determined movement with shoulders wide

Strength behind glasses, pride

~

Fumes of spent love drift,

as keys turn in their place.

The door locks,

and the black car pulls away,

as does the heart.

~

Skin-toned canvas pulls on metal poles.

Latches squeak;

against wind they hold.

Material from heat and sun is shielding,

except where there live holes.

~

Straining, as does the weave of two,

this canvas stretching

this couple too,

amongst palms,

yellow plates and many shoes,

lined along the entry wall.

~

The wind to rest, so as to relieve the tension,

relax the canvas.

The wind to slow, not pull the latches.

Given is a chance to catch a breath,

inhale strength and as I do, rest.

~

Prepared for the next storm

are tarp and myself.

Winds stir; latches tighten.

Another ache, my muscles brace.

The black car pulls away,

as does the heart.

Clock Watching

June 28, 2012

~

Clock watching, waiting,

I do a good bit of these. This evening,

the wood of my table with carved trim holds one alone,

as it waits for another napkin and place setting.

~

I do hope he is where he claims to be.

~

My crystal wine glass is now empty.

I flag a server as a taxi.

He is attentive, just as he is to be.

Mistakenly I believe it might be for me.

~

I do hope he is where he claims to be.

~

Stop the dreaming I should, curb the desire

for his hand on mine, smiling, soft eyes.

To my melting point I do rise.

Lack and loneliness see him in this light.

~

I do hope he is where he claims to be.

~

The door open lends a breeze,

and sends in music from outdoor chimes.

Moves the skirt of my dress seated.

It rustles leaves that whisper to me,

~

I do hope he is where he claims to be.

In These Eyes

June 21, 2012

The look from your eyes into mine

   found a flaw and entered, just a part.

Found this flaw and used my weakness

   to enter and soil my heart.

Weakened, I am lost.

~

Looking high above, into the sky,

I wonder. Could the wind take me,

lift me as a kite,

to feel the wind beneath,

a wind of stirring light?

~

I ask of this kite,

 I a prisoner of soil and green,

“Search for tender lands.”

Search for ground where falls are gradual not steep,

lands which lessen the fall to surprise from peace.

~

My kite soaring through the air whispers,

“I know a place. I will take you there.”

Through a flock of blued wings we were carried through the air.

Tirelessly created currents,

leading to truth, bare.

~

Deeper blue and into the darkness, the kite

 moved me to windless floating from flight.

A single star then broke through the dark.

The stirring light I had then caught,

 in these eyes.

~

The eyes in which you found my flaw

had brought, to me, the peace I sought.

~

Shadowed Words

June 2, 2012

Waking in our bed,

I lifted your ringing phone to find

words that tore apart my mind.

I was left with a heavy head

and eyes I wished were blind.

My heart aches for a new day,

one where games are no longer played.

When pieces move in truth not lies,

shadowed words, not seen with these eyes.

With tears and heavy legs

the floor became my comfort.

Cold wood was the shoulder upon which I laid,

though it felt as though it burned

and low enough I could not fall.

My heart aches for a new day,

one where games are no longer played.

When pieces move in truth not lies,

shadowed words, not seen with these eyes.

~

The plane leaves soon for you, late for me.

I ready the home,

dress in hopeless tears.

Catch a taxi,

float through the air and fears.

~

You’ve kept me in the dark

and pushed me from your heart.

Our connection seems now gone.

Though I am skimming clouds,

I feel farther from the heavens and never more apart.

My heart aches for a new day,

one where games are no longer played.

When pieces move in truth not lies,

shadowed words, not seen with these eyes.

You Are

May 31, 2012

You are seasoned hands guiding young fingers on keys.

You are an explosive work of art,

the stroke of brush on canvas.

You are colors painted with fierce thoughts stirring the settled.

You are an empty shelf soon full, then emptied save one jar.

You are water pouring into cupped hands and the sand displacing it.

You are calloused fingers meeting string, releasing tones that fix the broken.

You are the gaze of protective eyes upon a child at play

and the light in the young one’s eyes.

You are the sound of wind rustled blinds before the storm,

and after,

the sound of their stillness.

You are the scent of newly cut grass

and the musty smell of aging wood inside a time worn home.

You are the heat of the sun felt by blistered feet on tar.

You are coolness when toes are dipped in a shadowed stream.

You are the taste of sweet red wine and the aroma from the empty bottle.

You are the blink of an eye

and the drawn out linger.

You fill the soul and more than mend the heart.

You are the beginning, the end and all found between.

You are a brutal, exhilarating birth.

You are a graceful, frightening death.

You are each emotion and emotions combined.

You are new emotions never before felt.

You are music.

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